Day 118-120: Finally....Radio Chapter I

**This is actually my blog from an internal site but I found it to be so spot on and a lil too honest that I just had to share it with you guys....

I've been meaning to blog about my on-air escapades for a minute... so lemme break it down a lil... It's been a week since my second attempt at GroundZero. For all intensive purposes, I killed it compared to my premiere show five days before that.




I figure that I let the hype get to me during the first show. In between the "oh my goshes" and "oh my goodneses", I pretty much failed to be the cool big sis that listeners would like to have. I was like a groupie. Dude!

Lesson learnt: Dude! just be you!

As Em would say ...

You better lose yourself in the music
The moment you own it you better never let it go, oh
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
Cuz opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
You better lose yourself in the music
The moment you own it you better never let it go, oh
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
Cuz opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
You better...

It's really that simple. But I let the enormity of the moment/opportunity get at me and rip at me and drag me through the mud!
Twas an eye-opener. As in it made me realise that my moment, the moment that I had been dreaming about since I was a kid, had finally come and because of nerves, I was about to fuck it up momentously. Dude! Don't joke! Say it ain't so! I couldn't believe that I almost let it slip through my fingers like that...

and even today I ain't all that pleased with my performance during the second show.

Another lesson learnt...

Our lectures in the run up to the on-air stuff were quite spot-on!
As soon as I calmed down on the OMGs, I picked up on "OKay" and added some "er's and "ums" for added crutchness!it's the oddest thing that once you lose one crutch, you are bound to pick up another one! Just like that! I never say OK but now it's like my new word! Dude! like how?!

Dude!
it's hella wack hey.
my technical has been ait. As in I haven't skipped any songs, involuntarily but I did manage to gate-crash the news with a jingle. And if that wasn't enough, I didn't put up the level after front-announcing AKA's "Mistake". How apt!

You may ask...
But KP did you do anything right?

Yeah... I had a coupla tricks up my sleeve... from my totally fake, fabricated, imaginary friend that "sucks cock" to deal with stress and feel like a "strong black woman"... I don't doubt that such a female exists but she certainly ain't one of my friends.
...to my future "blind-date" with a white boy. Well, that wasn't a complete lie. An fb friend did "offer" me his white friend... but he was not keen to set us up, well not directly, he sought to rather, organise a lil chill session at his spot and then have us meet... So a blind-date with a twist... started off the show on an inquisitive note... Nice...

My links coulda been tighter if I had stuck to my prep and timings and such... but I doubted it in the moment. Stooooooopid girl.

More good news...
I've learnt to prep my own ish!
I've found a system that doesn't allow me to forget to back-announce and most of all to ID the station and my pretty lil face!

Too dope!

Now, I'm constantly jotting down ideas for links... I literally keep my notebook and pen on me... it's exciting ad it's daunting at the same time because my respect for the profession has grown tremendously ie I now see it as a proper gig. Not a hobby to be shat on! but at the same time, I'm freaked out by the intensity and how it isn't some big party on air like I sorta unconsciously perceived it to be.

Which has of cos made that crazy, totally illogical Q pop into my head. Is this what I really want? Really? really?

Part of my every being screams YES but my fear, a deep seated, unjustified, totally self-involved phobia is raising doubt, within!

So a lot of thinking is taking place. And of cos, been sussing out the competition. Totally natural especially when your turn to be on air is taking its sweet time.

But also totally a waste of time because I really shouldn't be checking for the other academics coz I'm the only horse that I should be concerned about. I can't see these other niggas coz I got my eye on the prize!

And with two shows to go... I am dying to prove my mettle. So I plan to pull out al the stops for the next show. Really. Fiery blazin links! Short sweet n punchy!

Sot he cat's out the bag but that's the thing about radio, my execution ain't like no other. At least that's the plan. To make it memorable.

We got some good news yesterday...
Not only will we be participating in a massive clean up campaign in our own internship capacities (oh joy-lol ) but we will also be having our own liners recorded! Dude! can you say too dope! With the official voice of the station!

Songs I'm loving at the moment...
Pure Surprise- Lulo Cafe (yho...he is the hottest nigga in the hood! No kidding!)
And of cos... Hottest Nigga in the Hood- Red Cafe (see the link!!!) [still!!]
Who's Real-Jada ft Swizz
Deeper- Euphonik
Return the Favour- Keri Hilson ft Timbo
My Love- The Dream ft Mariah
Rockin that Shit (Remix) -The Dream and all them niggas... [still!!!]
Good Clothes-Lil Brother [still!! stuck on that beat!]


And a host of other hottttt house tracks that I can't remember... it happens... mind you... I have yet to sleep since 9pm last night!

Since I've been absolutely self-indulgent... I guess I can get away without blogging for the next month... truth be told... I've missed talking about my passion... so you must JBS (jusssss beeee strong)!

Besides with God by my side... I can't help but shine.. wherever that may be! Funny thing about the picture below, I was loking for a star and that jumped at me! How appropriate... That's how I know that The Script-writer is hard at work for lil ol me who deserves it the least... But would desire it regardless... pretty pretty please... I'm thinking he is liking the idea tooooo.. Well, I'ma keep the faith!

Day 44-45: Part2 - Sunshine promises rain...

Tuesday was the big day and before I knew it, I had to start heading off to Hyde Park. One of my BFF's who had actually suggested me for the job, to the powers that be, called to check on my state on mind. She also mentioned one possible obstacle. My lack of mobility. It wasn't til she mentioned that, that my proposal lost its lustre and appeal. And I left, near complete deflation.

Once in the boardroom, the HR chic was in another meeting and thus couldn't be part of the panel. SCORE! And I was with some familiar friendly faces... Gotta love the sling! And my charm... Lol... Who am I kidding... My legs had adopted a life of their own... Shaking uncontrollably... But really, it went well... And from what I heard, they are looking for someone just like me... That lives the brand and is looking to forge relationships...

My life's about to get complicated... I think... But what's new!? I mean, I hate to count my chickens before they hatch but really....
Ok... Once back at the Zone, I head to Clicks for my flu shot. The nurse was a lil peculiar. She took the injection out the packaging and then started looking for some document. Meanwhile the naked needle is hazardedly pointed up. This went on for a good 5 minutes and I started to wonder about its hygiene. She must've read my mind coz she mentioned how she was still recovering from a car accident which would explain her rather odd behaviour. I was relieved?! Not even. But then she stuck the needle in and it was over. The quick band-aid rip-off trick. I got my free supply of vitamin C and as I was about to leave, she mentioned family-planning. First consult for 50 bucks... Um, thanx... I swear this woman is psychic!

Back at the office, music department, still not bumping. I was not missed. We did a recording for the teaser campaign with the official voice. Twas dope to hear some of my liners come to life.

As we came out the studio, at about 2pm, I see that Shorty is around. I decide to white-flag it and go say hi. And the butterflies zinged with energy as he hugged me and his hand lingered on my lower back. ST! ST! ST! Now there's a reason to stick around....

We duked it out. Cleared the air. He didn't come through coz he had to clean his sneakers. How disconcerting. I said as much. Furthermore, brightspark had forgotten about our date.... Disturbia...

But after I had made myself heard, I let it go. Coz he makes me feel that good... Without even tryin... I'm sucha pushover! If I didn't know better, I'd say I was whipped... Despite the crap that people are saying about him... Not that I'm discounting it... I really dunno who to trust but what I know for sure is what I feel for him... And how he makes me glow... So for now, illogically enough, everybody else can kiss my ass! Like the song says.... SO WHAT!?

The drive to the State Theatre took forever so we arrived late. They wouldn't let us in and he took it quite badly. The good thing is that we spent the time in traffic talking and I even told him about Lover. But wait for it... He already knew... Somebody who I thought was a friend, beat me to it, despite being aware that I was reluctantly planning on doing exactly that, on Saturday already. She also told him that he should stay away from me coz I'm hectic! What!? Our theory is that she feelin him! Well, join the queue Heffa! Needless to say that I ain't talkin to her as much anymore. But I ain't gonna confront her... Funny, she's the one that was advising me to stay away from him. What? Did she think we don't talk!? Stoopid girl!

He was still hella shocked by my confirmation of the Lover story so I'm glad I could clear it up... After being bounced from the theatre, we decided to head to Hatfield which was packed on a Tuesday night!? What kind?! So we found no parking and headed to Brooklyn. It started to rain. Co-fi was empty and I thought it a good idea to drink something on an empty stomach... Needless to say T-Pain started singing 'Tipsy'... Luda belted out 'One More Drink' and Jamie and I 'Blamed it' on the alcohol as I embarrassingly pulled in for a kiss only to be met with a big fat no entry sign. The date turned awkward right there.... Me and my stupid urges.... I was so embarrassed. And when he dropped me off, we discussed it. He likes to digest while I like to do. We are hella different. I'm not used to this...

Oh, he also figures that our butterflies are only different in the sense that, if we got a chance to be alone, we'd go buckwild... Lol... How comforting... It's his birthday next week... So who knows...

It must be criminal to write so much about a nigga but I'm enjoying getting to know him so much that I gots to share... Hopefully, the next post won't be so obsessive... Hopefully, the next date won't get rained out...

P.s. How dope is it that we have yet to kiss? No thanx to me. But nevertheless the case... By now, I've already jumped a nigga.... Not that I haven't tried-Lol! But you know what I mean!

Day 37-39: Get up and Go!

There aren't many things in this world that are truly inspiring and motivating. As I get older, more cynical, jaded and hella clued up, I realise that it takes quite a bit to move me. Which sets the bar really high for the usual entertainment-worthy stuff like tv shows, movies, music and of cause the opposite sex. My family and church, on the other hand, manage to do so without much effort while the other catagories pretty much struggle to make me sit up and take notice.

Let's begin with the opposite sex. Because of a little thing called Oepidus Complex, any significant liasion has been at the hands of a chocolate-skinned, tallish, handsome nigga with an air of arrogance and smoker's breathe. He don't give a rat's ass and can articulate as much. Humorous and engaging. Great smile with awesome teeth. Good vibes. Brush cut. He also only really becomes emotional around me. And makes me feel like an eight year old girl, believes in me and makes me believe it. That's my DAD. Summed up.

That's a grand order for any man. Nevermind one that has spent much time in the sun. If he's lucky I'll settle but then I'll be out before the four months are through so settling really does nobody any favours. (four months = my longest relationship period).

Truth is I probably painted a madd idealic picture of The One (HE/SHE lies within by the way). But wait... there's more... He must be honest, ambitious, self-sufficient and most importantly, God-fearing. Spit facts, hustle, go after your dreams and have a lil faith... Faitha faitha faitha.... My list is not all that impossible coz I have met guys that fit most of the bill. Finding a cutie who checks out the whole list, now that's the tricky part. And chances are, he'll only live in my son for now. [speaking of offspring, my cousin gave birth over the week. Which probably explains the dream. Hopefully. Such a premonition would suck.]


Lover comes madd close, I must say. So close, I'm thinking how will I ever get over him? Especially after today. Thankfully, of late, everytime I meet a new guy, he is that much closer to what I'd like to see in my man. So I'm keen to see what the future holds in that department. Well not right now, in a few months time.