Day 93-104: Magic Moments Part I

Paulo Coelho once wrote of magic moments in his highly acclaimed novel, Down By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept. It's a heavy love story focussing on a young woman's quest for self discovery and more specifically love. He described a magic moment as that moment when a YES or NO changes your life forever. I feel like these 180 DAYS have been a series of magic moments in themselves. Which is bad and good. Good because everyday is one hella surprise after another. I can't say that I'm bored at all. But I also can't say that I know what's really going on even on the basics front. It's almost like having sex with a blindfold on. It's cool for a bit but after a while, you just wanna know what's going on... or maybe I'm just one hella control freak! Relaxa tu! But I guess that's what life really is. a series of decisions that ultimate contribute to the Butterfly Effect whether you'd like to believe in the weight that a seemingly insignificant action may carry.

Everytime I meet somebody new and we discuss some business ventures and something comes out of it... Everytime, some nigga hollers at me and I actually don't walk away and he turns out to be another soulmate (Yes, I believe in more than one)...
Facebook/MySpace and other social networking sites have been the catalyst of several magic moments. I've (re)connected with fam and even come across some dope people. But has my life been changed? as in really altered? Or just been made more interesting?

I rate that you'll never really know the true extent of your actions. However, what I do know for sure is that the Butterfly effect exists. Everything, no matter how small, happens for a reasons so yes. Everything is connected. Everything is everything. That's what Ms Hill meant.

But for me the true magic moment, as in how I interpreted it as per the novel, occurred in the run up to my exam last Monday. For the past six years, I have been trying to finish up my BCOM: Accounting degree. The first two years were smooth sailing until my final year when I crashed and burned towards the finishing line in respect of the Tax and Financial Management modules. The following year, 2007, I bagged the Tax but the Financial Management proved to be a harder pill to swallow. I just couldn't or wouldn't understand. Last year, I decided to try finish within a semester via Unisa. I managed to two out of three of their Financial Management equivalent. I wrote a supplementary exam in October which also went badly. So badly, I had to re-apply. No supp, this time. I figure, I had trouble balancing my job and studies. Plus when you are so used to not understanding particular work, in this instance, Valuations, you're already defeated before you start. Well you feel that way and that self-fulfilling profesy comes to show.

This year, I again took up the Financial Management yolk. Partly determined to get it right this time. Partly certain that I don't really have the type of brain that grasps the curriculum therefore I should perhaps consider approaching the powers that be with the results of an aptitude test that proves that I have trouble getting my head around analytical type problems and maybe they will just give me a damn degree out of sheer pity and for my half-hearted peserverence and innovation. I don't think I could pull out the race card for this one!? ... But worse, I was considering giving up, basically at the end of the race which amounts to not having bothered to try in the first place. With the pressure that my mom was putting on me and the prospect of a life continually on the hustle sans the financial cushioning that comes with a cushy Chartered Accountant gig, I been freaking out! And that's why I been studying since February. I even handed in both my assignments which turned out to be well done. Ain't nothing like fear to motivate you.

Last Monday was a culmination of my efforts. I spent the weekend, studying. I mucked about only on Saturday but I was sooooo focussed that I told Shorty that we couldn't hang. SHOCKING, I know. Don't even begin to think things went smoothly. They don't ever. That would be too easy... Especially where that nigga is concerned...

Day 37-39: Get up and Go!

There aren't many things in this world that are truly inspiring and motivating. As I get older, more cynical, jaded and hella clued up, I realise that it takes quite a bit to move me. Which sets the bar really high for the usual entertainment-worthy stuff like tv shows, movies, music and of cause the opposite sex. My family and church, on the other hand, manage to do so without much effort while the other catagories pretty much struggle to make me sit up and take notice.

Let's begin with the opposite sex. Because of a little thing called Oepidus Complex, any significant liasion has been at the hands of a chocolate-skinned, tallish, handsome nigga with an air of arrogance and smoker's breathe. He don't give a rat's ass and can articulate as much. Humorous and engaging. Great smile with awesome teeth. Good vibes. Brush cut. He also only really becomes emotional around me. And makes me feel like an eight year old girl, believes in me and makes me believe it. That's my DAD. Summed up.

That's a grand order for any man. Nevermind one that has spent much time in the sun. If he's lucky I'll settle but then I'll be out before the four months are through so settling really does nobody any favours. (four months = my longest relationship period).

Truth is I probably painted a madd idealic picture of The One (HE/SHE lies within by the way). But wait... there's more... He must be honest, ambitious, self-sufficient and most importantly, God-fearing. Spit facts, hustle, go after your dreams and have a lil faith... Faitha faitha faitha.... My list is not all that impossible coz I have met guys that fit most of the bill. Finding a cutie who checks out the whole list, now that's the tricky part. And chances are, he'll only live in my son for now. [speaking of offspring, my cousin gave birth over the week. Which probably explains the dream. Hopefully. Such a premonition would suck.]


Lover comes madd close, I must say. So close, I'm thinking how will I ever get over him? Especially after today. Thankfully, of late, everytime I meet a new guy, he is that much closer to what I'd like to see in my man. So I'm keen to see what the future holds in that department. Well not right now, in a few months time.