Day 112-117: Seven Days Was A Long Shot!

In a day, God created man. And when the sun set that evening, he looked at Adam and said, 'Hotdam I'm rock long time...' and then he went drinking at the Eden river, with the angels, to celebrate...
It's taken double that time for me and Shorty to restart fighting after just making up. Ya neh. We couldn't even go the seven that I spoke of in my last post. There's really no point in getting into why we are fighting now [but for completeness sake, here's the jist- we were supposed to go out to some birthday gig on Thursday night and he took a unilateral decision to cancel our plans. Something about being tired and under-dressed. I was not impressed. I flipped at him for being a fader. He claimed we could do it on Friday. Nothing happened Friday. Instead he was out with his mates. Which was all apparently unplanned. I just keep thinking I'm way to pretty to be dealing with such non-issues. Plently guys wanna spend time with me. Why am I still here? For what!? When it really appears as though, I ain't wanted.] I'm just sick of it. It's like the bad is superceding the good. It's so bad, I'm thinking of drawing up a list. Either of Pro's n Con's or of things that he does that I absolutely despise. He can also draw up the latter with regards to me and if we gonna work at this, those lists must be adhered to, otherwise it's an indication of disrespect and sheer carelessness. Which speaks volumes.

I used to date guys that I fought with all the time, thinking that it adds passion to the relationship. And then I dated a nigga that I hardly ever fought with and guess what- I enjoyed that so much more. The laughing and smiling and talking really beats arguing and crying and bitching. So I can't understand how I landed up here and how come I've been at it for almost as long as my longest relationship ever [four months]?!

But everytime I think of walking away, the heartburn hits my chest. And honestly, he does he quite an effect on my mood especially when things are cool and we're talking. I jus wish we could get along for more than three days out of the week.

I was so embarrassed when my mother asked me what he thought of my Monday show. I had to meekly tell her that I hadn't received any feedback from him. Even she raised her eyebrows even though she doesn't know that we are dating. But she knows that we're friends and that I'm hella supportive of his hustle. So in her head, it made no sense as to why he is seemingly not showing luv back. Luckily she spared me any further humiliation by letting that question hang in the air. Awkward!

Saturday night/the early hours of Sunday morning, I tried to talk to him about this kak. And I swear if he hadn't claimed to be too tired to get into it, I probably would've broken up with him right then and there. Coz something don't feel right. That feeling I had at the beginning of this, has returned and it's actually suffocating me. Rather annoying. Two options: stick it out like last time til it subsides or walk away from these weird feelings. Fuck it's weird. It feels like he's hiding something...

True to his conceited self, he insisted on discussing this issue from the other night, later today. Fine. It's not like it's going anywhere. We'll discuss it eventually and if it's over- let it be.

I could use some fresh material for my blog, as it is.

As for my show on Monday. I felt that it went well. So well that I walked away thinking that some of the proper DJs best be scared.... Coz I'm coming after their gigs! Unfortunately it will be a while til my next shot at presenting. Try 10 June. Dis ver! I was hoping we would have gotten an updated schedule by now, with all the non-presenters, having opened up more slots for the rest of us that want to do it.

But life ain't ever sucha breeze. Been working on scripts for a certain production from my former employer. Who woulda thought... 53 episodes by four links each. Hectic. But coming along nicely. Very exciting. Challenging. And learn-as-you-go. Very stimulating and keeps my mind off this rather immature love-life stuff. I won't lie. I'm expecting the worst.

Day 108-111: Shut Up, Just Shut Up Shut Up...

Back in high school, I dated some triflin' niggas. Popular but hella dodge tertiary guys who would cheat on me. And my fellow female pupils would be more than happy to let me in on my boyfriends' indiscretions. Coz that's how real it would get in high school. Women-on-women violence. But they would be the first to hook up with him straight afterwards despite his shady track-record. Or worse still, these girls would knowingly hook up with dude even though they knew he was unavailable...

I wish I could take the moral high ground in comparison to my boyfriends. But nah... I was only slightly better because I kept my indiscretions a secret. I never got bust. So not only did their cheating give me a legit reason to get out of a disastrous pseudo-relationship that was only wasting my (air-)time, but it also made me look like the poor victim. Aargh shame for me. In my mind, it didn't really matter what the situation really was... as long as dude felt bad and I came out smelling like roses. There really was no reason for me to tell dude that while he was messing around, so was I... It's fine. Let him think he's a piece of shit cheat. No skin off my nose coz he been a piece of shit. I won't lie, I would get upset. Mostly out of embarrassment and humiliation. Egocentric B.S that would not let me help him downplay his guilt... In fact, let's not tarnish my good image... I figured it's always better to appear to be the victim instead of the wrong-doer. Nobody likes the wrong-doer... Plus, I couldn't begin to have dude look at me the same way that I looked at him... Yeah... Like a piece of shit cheat! Lol!

All these experiences taught me one thing. Don't ever be naive enough to think that whatever you're doing on the down-low is not being done by your significant other. That's how karma works ... So it's a big deal for me to be involved and not cheat. A sorta growth and maturity of sorts. But with so many opportunities to do so, I'm sure that Shorty is facing extensive temptation of his own on the daily... Now we don't all go through the same rite of passage, so goodness knows if he been resisting.

Hence my sheer reluctance to trust a nigga. Even the one I'm seeing. Especially when he keeps fueling my paranoia... On Friday, he ignored my calls and texts. The following morning, he tried to feed me some cock-n-bull story about his phone dying. Like honestly. I was not having it. I hate being lied to but what I hate more is an apology that is accompanied by a lie. Yho! That grates my tits. What's also bad is how I've told him before if something is going on- tell me. Don't make me wait like a crazy person. Or worse- don't fuck up and think you can fix it in the morning!?

So you think I'm gullible and stoopid?! Fine. Then leave me alone in my gullibility n stoopidity coz I really ain't gotta deal with this shit.

I wonder will Shorty n I ever go a mere seven days without fighting? It's becoming such a drag. I hate repeating myself to a grown man as though I'm involved in dog-training. Oh hell no! I really dunno what can fix this but my head ain't over there right now. I gots a show in the early hours of Monday morning. Another reason why I'm so annoyed. This nigga is fucking with my focus... I should just knock him out like Charles Hamilton. His inconsideration shows jus how self-involved he is. Like dude... The world does not revolve around you! And maybe that's been my fault... You write a coupla posts about dude, he begins to feel and act as though he rules your world. F-off!

Well, I'm obviously peeved. But like I been saying, anger ain't a real emotion. I'm hella disappointed and disheartened. And I hate to say it, especially after the other day... A part of me has to laugh at that though... How fuckin unoriginal... A nigga trippin afterwards... Well that's what you get huh... Oh well... Dirt off my shoulder!

As much as I mean that... I realise that this is merely the price of caring for somebody. You become vulnerable to being hurt. Like I just heard on Grey's... Making friends makes for another loss along the way...

On to something a lil more constructive... I'm beginning to feel those nerves again, even though my show is like twelve hours away. I so need to bring it this time... Here's to some good post-show news!

Day 104-107: Kingdom Come...

A dramatic build up often concludes in an equally undramatic anti-climax! You'll walk away and be on some... That's it?! Really now? Really?! No... Seriously!

Today was a day of firsts... Let's start with my first time hosting the 4AM-5AM slot. Dude! I really thought I would be less nervous which in turn turned out to be my biggest challenge (please note that I didn't say 'difficulty'. I picked that up from a guest lecturer, the other day. It's a mere obstacle... A lil hill...) was my anxiety. Self-inflicted n absolutely self-indulgent... It appears that in those moments, I forgot the teachings from A New Earth and Dr Gary Zukav... Nerves amount to selfish energy because it makes the situation only about you. It's not only about me but also the people listening and being subjected to poor radio because I'm way too self-involved to step out of MY anxiety to give them a decent show... Now I'm feeling like even though I get the above, I've gone from selfish to self-pity... Well, either way, there's no room for egoism! Just Do It!

And that's exactly what I plan on doing on Monday morning when we do it again. Keep it simple and short but pacy n punchy... Like a manly Ryan Seacrest... I wanna say risque stuff and have listeners latching on to my every word. Did I manage that despite my stage fright? I think I did what I could, considering the situation... It's not everyone that can talk about their 'friend' who sucks dick in order to deal with stress... And it's not many people that can be open about their less-than-cool approach.

Another first occurred after the show. Shorty n I hung out at his crib. Not only were we completely alone for the very first time, but we also had some privacy outside the confines of a car or even a corridor or a movie theatre or food outlet or event... Twas crazy surreal for him for me to be in his space... For me, it was the perfect escape from the memory of a not-so-perfect radio show.

I dunno if it was too soon but I knew that we would some time. And that day came... What's meant to be will be... What's meant to happen, did!

So now that we have that out of the way... Let's double up... Lol... Now the trick will be to figure if we gonna stay together despite those typical doubtful feelings that come with the-morning-after-the-night-before...
We actually spoke about it a lil... And it was a lil reminiscent ot the the first time we kissed. When that finally happened, I sorta wished that we had waited because as much as I wanted to do it, I really missed the feeling of anticipation from those previous three weeks.

But isn't that always the case. Feeling as though you shouldn't have done what you did. But you had to do it to prove a point... Whether to cement your feelings or to cultivate further feelings... it's how society has shaped intimacy. You can't claim to be seeing/feeling somebody and you guys don't kiss or beyond. I mean what would set you apart from the next pair of friends if you guys, as a couple, aren't acting on the feelings of lust?

So what makes a relationship? According to FFB, without fucking there is no relationship therefore you might as well be close friends. He rates it solidifies things. I dunno if I concur... I'm pretty sure me and Shorty are more than "close friends" but I dunno how I know... I guess I trust that he ain't sharing the same thoughts with other women. Lol! So now he can't have a female BFF?
[Enter Alicia Keys with 'Grlfriend'... I think I'm jealous of your girl friend...]
If you have somebody that you constantly spend time with but there's no shagging then you guys are either BFFs or BF and GF. What sets that apart????


So I looked up the definition of RELATIONSHIP...

–noun 1. a connection, association, or involvement.
2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
3. an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students.
4. a sexual involvement; affair.

Clearly the above didn't help...
So I looked it up in the Thesauraus...
And the following jumped at me...

connection, friendship, affinity, bond, hookup...

An affinity... that zing that draws you and keeps you close to another person. Those butterflies that a simple BFF can't make you feel. That's what makes a relationship. Those strong, amorous feelings for another person that are often translated into the physical but don't exist because of the physical!

Ah Ha moment of note!

I'm considering calming down on the intimacy aspect until Shorty is comfortable. I don't want him doing stuff... hell... I don't wanna be doing stuff coz that's what's expected. We should be doing stuff coz that's what we wanna do...

Day 93-103: Magic Moments Part III

And then the magic moment happened...

Well, maybe it was not so much a magic moment coz I don't think my life changed in that instance but the way I looked at a certain person, changed forever that very night. And for the first time, I admitted it to myself and him. Twas quite profound. Like looking in the mirror. But really looking... Not a passing glance...

On the way home on the Wednesday evening, my car-pool dude had his weekly night lecture. I was keen to get home after an exhausting day which saw Shorty and me ignoring each other. Literally. Dude, twas so crazy that he even ducked into the toilet when he saw me. I followed suite and jumped up from where I was sitting. My heart in my throat as I tried to shake it off! Funny thing, I had just found out when we, the interns, would be going on air so I was hella excited but I couldn't even share that with him. Twas just wack.

If you've ever sat in Joburg traffic, you'll realise that the way to make it go faster is to talk. Well that works for me coz after a day spent at a radio station, I ain't tryna hear more DJ chit-chat or high-rotation singles! So car-pool dude and I often discuss my train-smash of a love-life! No matter how embarrassing, he always gets it out of me. When I've said it all, I'll either pass out or blog! By the time, we're done with that, it's often too dark to study.

This time, I was riding with a family friend (FF). He was dying to know how things been going, especially in the love-life department so I spilled! And he turned around and took Shorty's side. SHOCK-ED! He also said that I should be careful, listening to people that may wanna just sabotage my relationship with Shorty. True. But The Girls couldn't possibly be like the other ruthless Joburg women. That's not their style. At least that's what I think/thought. In his eyes, I should just holla at dude, simply coz I do like him. I was gobsmacked, there's no way I was gonna let my feelings make a fool out of me. They will go away. They must. Needless to say, FF convinced me to holla at Shorty, despite my head screaming OH NO!

The way my heart explained it to my head is that if we gonna end this, let's end it today and if it's gonna be saved then let's stop being mad and just save it. (I must say that I really thought this was it!) But first he must know exactly how I feel... So I call him up... I swear my heartbeat was hella irregular and I thought I might pass out from the anticipation...
Wish I had recorded this telecon so that the following could be a lil more accurate...

Ring Ring [regular amount of rings. He surprisingly didn't make me wait.]
S: Hello
KP: [tentative]Hey..?
S: [equally tentative] Hi..
KP: Um...Can you talk?
S: Yeah, I can...
KP: [icebreaker] Oh crap that sucks. I was hoping you'd be busy and then I could get off the phone and not have this awkward conversation. (nervous giggle)
S: (no laughs) Dude you don't understand how hard my heart is beating right now...
KP: aaaahhh baby, me too... [tears stinging my eyes, yearning to hold him (thru the phone- tnx Soulja Boy)]
There's something I must tell you.
[Momentary amnesia. I collects herself and go through go my mental script... I tell him about that fateful Saturday night when he couldn't take me home so I got picked up. Before we left Rosebank, we headed to MacDee's for some grub. As soon as I walked in through the door, some nigga that actually has a striking resemblance to Shorty, except he's way shorter, hollered at me.

I was not impressed. More annoyed. I had had a long day of election field-reporting and didn't want to have to deal with rejecting some random at 11 PM. Well, this dude was persistent but only because he recognised me. We hooked up back in high-school. In fact, I was dating his friend and we ended up hooking up, behind his buddy's friend. Not cool. But that's what you do when you are in grade nine at a single sex school! You almost live for male attention... Well, I hadn't seen dude since. And here we were exchanging digits. A week later, we bumped into each other, again, near Nino's. Walked him to his car and we spoke about my love-life and it's heavy sexual frustration component. It was not until later that I realised that I shouldn't be discussing such with an ex-flame that still gives me bedroom eyes.

I got punished for it. He tried to kiss me. Tongue down my throat and all! But I pulled away. This cutie who ain't talking about taking it slow, wants me but I push him away. On any other day, any other year, I would've just went with it. Even if it was just for those five selfish, self-indulgent minutes, I would've done it. And simultaneously written off any prospect of my relationship with Shorty...]

KP:... in my head, if I cheat on a guy, it really means that I'm over dude. I'm not expecting much from our 'thing'.I realised three things as a result of that night. One, I really like you. And I really want this to work. Two, if guys are jumping me then girls must be jumping you too. But how are you reacting? [More temporary amnesia.. this time in real time. I can't remember what number three was. Funny coz I nearly forgot it that very night too.] And that would explain why I ain't keen to put a label on us because if we do get hella serious, I'm gonna have to trust you completely. You'll have the right to truly break my heart. All defences down. I'm no good at being vulnerable. I'm very protective of my feelings.

S: I don't wanna lose you. I told you that these groupies mean nothing. [can't remember the rest... at this point I was in a haze...]
Wanna go to a movie?

Bottom line, we ended up seeing Wolverine, the following day. Which actually turned out to be a love story. The new week saw us talking for hours on Monday night, straight into Tuesday morning. He says that he never really talks to people... Which surprised me coz boy, does he have plenty to say. Which suits me just fine because I enjoy hearing about his plans and ambitions. It's inspiring because our dream-book pretty much reads the same way. He left so late that he even missed my 4AM news bulletin. My mom also slept through it... Classy. Impressed with neither.

The irony... We are getting closer through the fighting. It's weird but true. The drama is making us tighter... He actually said that I'm like his third arm... In the moment, it was so sweet but come to think about it, nobody really needs a third arm. In fact, doctors would recommend amputation. So maybe not the best compliment or metaphor... What does it mean anyway? I need you as much as I need an extra limb. Strange. The only time, I've come across that term is when somebody says that their cellphone is like a third arm It's an extension of the self. They can't live without it. It's always there. That's deep...

Day 93-103: Magic Moments Part II

Since Monday, I been spending every second day just catching up on sleep because every other day is spent awake for at least 24 hours. It's the most insane but exhilarating experience. Finally, our time to be on air has come. As luck would have it... but...er... I don't believe in luck so as it was written...I'm the second last to go on air, on Wednesday 20 May, as per the 4AM-5AM schedule. To date I have read news twice (once on the first day, Tues 12 May and another on Thurs 14 May because the dude that was supposed to was otherwise occupied. Score for me really so I didn't mind absconding on my content production role for the few minutes that a coupla news bulletins take up. Besides, I gots to practice and get used to speaking out loud on the new mics).

My attention has really been on my exam and of course the on-air stuff. Constantly planning links and thinking of ways to make exciting radio. You may be half-asleep during 4AM and 5AM but really I gots no business contributing to that state of mind.

So what's my plan? Well, the words of the Programming Manager keep ringing in my head. Keep your links sweet and short and punchy. But so far, everybody has done the exact opposite. I can understand their thought-process though. They want to impress with humorous, interesting banter. The more you talk, the bigger the chance to be impressive and likewise, the larger the opportunity to suck. That's when the heartburn hits my chest! But really, I gots to know how to take direction, right. So I'ma have to keep my words to a minimum. Think Ryan Seacrest's slickness and swag on the mic. Dope/Doe Boy Fresh (DBF)! I want that to be me! I plan to be exciting, spunky and all up in your face! Make you wanna get up without saying too much and I figure if I can manage that then I'm legend!


But of cos, I'm beginning to doubt myself. Hella nervous! I can't wait to rock my hour but then again, I could totally wait out of sheer anxiety.

Meanwhile back at the ranch... Shorty and I had yet another fight, at the beginning of last week, over the same tired topic... There I was minding my own business on Tuesday, keen to go on study leave, glad to have finished my SAMAs piece when The Girls walked in and one of them told me how she had witnessed Shorty in a shady, compromising situation at some night-spot during the weekend.

I felt the tears sting the back of my eye-balls as she spoke about this floozy that had her arms around him and was kissing his neck. The disgust welled up in my stomach, followed by sheer self-disappointment. How can you be so stupid, I asked myself. I was so sick and tired and pissed at the timing that I typed up a text and actually sent it this time. Because of my self-blame, it was rather mild-mannered. I wasn't about to scream n shout n curse coz in my head, there would be no point coz clearly this ain't the first time. Clearly I been gettin played. So I just told him that I can't deal with all these stories of him entertaining groupies so we should just end this. He called. I switched off my phone. I won't lie but I was rather pleased that he was appearing to be freakin out but at the same time, I thought, he only ever takes me seriously when I'm at the door with my suitcase packed! I also tried to think how he would explain his way out of this one. I thought how blind am I. How stoopid must I be. How pathetic. How retarded. Like what am I waiting for- to find him in bed with somebody else? All these questions but only one answer. Go study!

Well, that was not about to happen. Well not that day. Instead I texted him again to say I wasn't tryna be rude but I know that if we talk, he's just gonna sweet-talk me out of my decision. He was actually rather mad and frustrated. From the sounds of the voice-messages that he left, demanding that I answer my phone to the texts that said he was tired of explaining himself and that we were over before we even begun (becaus of all these stories I was being fed). That stung. But that's one thing you will always receive from anger. It will make people show another side to themselves. It may be the truth or a defence mechanism. Either way, it has the potential to have some devastating repercussions.

In fact, in the midst of our heated text chat, I was having flashbacks of the last such chat I had with my BFF from varsity who hooked up with my ex flame behind my back and then turned around and accused me of jealousy when I condemned her actions. After that, I didn't see how we could ever be friends again because she just didn't get it. She was not sympathetic towards my feelings or even empathetic. It was all about her and I had to just accept her skanky behaviour. She even went on to say that she didn't even really like me and that I can only wish I was like her and no amount of therapy could fix me. That hurt because I was in therapy following my grandmother's death.... That comment proved to be the nail in the coffin! (Therapy proved to be the catalyst for my path to self discovery actually... but I digress...)

My text chat with Shorty could've easily gone that route and I could hate him right now but we handled it. And I think that's because we were both not ready to walk away. Not yet. Not now. Although I was not about to admit it at that point... I did all but beg him to confess instead because I needed to know that was not walking away from this because of a really dumb reason. Whatever that could be. Yes, I kept hoping for some sort of explanation that would make me nod my head feverishly and say 'ah yes, that explains it all.'

And then the magic moment came...

Day 93-104: Magic Moments Part I

Paulo Coelho once wrote of magic moments in his highly acclaimed novel, Down By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept. It's a heavy love story focussing on a young woman's quest for self discovery and more specifically love. He described a magic moment as that moment when a YES or NO changes your life forever. I feel like these 180 DAYS have been a series of magic moments in themselves. Which is bad and good. Good because everyday is one hella surprise after another. I can't say that I'm bored at all. But I also can't say that I know what's really going on even on the basics front. It's almost like having sex with a blindfold on. It's cool for a bit but after a while, you just wanna know what's going on... or maybe I'm just one hella control freak! Relaxa tu! But I guess that's what life really is. a series of decisions that ultimate contribute to the Butterfly Effect whether you'd like to believe in the weight that a seemingly insignificant action may carry.

Everytime I meet somebody new and we discuss some business ventures and something comes out of it... Everytime, some nigga hollers at me and I actually don't walk away and he turns out to be another soulmate (Yes, I believe in more than one)...
Facebook/MySpace and other social networking sites have been the catalyst of several magic moments. I've (re)connected with fam and even come across some dope people. But has my life been changed? as in really altered? Or just been made more interesting?

I rate that you'll never really know the true extent of your actions. However, what I do know for sure is that the Butterfly effect exists. Everything, no matter how small, happens for a reasons so yes. Everything is connected. Everything is everything. That's what Ms Hill meant.

But for me the true magic moment, as in how I interpreted it as per the novel, occurred in the run up to my exam last Monday. For the past six years, I have been trying to finish up my BCOM: Accounting degree. The first two years were smooth sailing until my final year when I crashed and burned towards the finishing line in respect of the Tax and Financial Management modules. The following year, 2007, I bagged the Tax but the Financial Management proved to be a harder pill to swallow. I just couldn't or wouldn't understand. Last year, I decided to try finish within a semester via Unisa. I managed to two out of three of their Financial Management equivalent. I wrote a supplementary exam in October which also went badly. So badly, I had to re-apply. No supp, this time. I figure, I had trouble balancing my job and studies. Plus when you are so used to not understanding particular work, in this instance, Valuations, you're already defeated before you start. Well you feel that way and that self-fulfilling profesy comes to show.

This year, I again took up the Financial Management yolk. Partly determined to get it right this time. Partly certain that I don't really have the type of brain that grasps the curriculum therefore I should perhaps consider approaching the powers that be with the results of an aptitude test that proves that I have trouble getting my head around analytical type problems and maybe they will just give me a damn degree out of sheer pity and for my half-hearted peserverence and innovation. I don't think I could pull out the race card for this one!? ... But worse, I was considering giving up, basically at the end of the race which amounts to not having bothered to try in the first place. With the pressure that my mom was putting on me and the prospect of a life continually on the hustle sans the financial cushioning that comes with a cushy Chartered Accountant gig, I been freaking out! And that's why I been studying since February. I even handed in both my assignments which turned out to be well done. Ain't nothing like fear to motivate you.

Last Monday was a culmination of my efforts. I spent the weekend, studying. I mucked about only on Saturday but I was sooooo focussed that I told Shorty that we couldn't hang. SHOCKING, I know. Don't even begin to think things went smoothly. They don't ever. That would be too easy... Especially where that nigga is concerned...

Day 91-92: All the SAMA drama!

I spent much of yesterday writing this peice...
Many people dig but obviously the haters been quiet... share your thoughts...
I'd rather not go into my private life, until after my exam on the 11th because really all that drama will have to wait...

---



SAMA STYLE AND SOUNDS send link to a friend | archives | print

Kopano Marumo
Despite the witty television advertisements, it’s customary to expect the South African Music Awards to fail to impress. Nobody really embarks on the exodus to Sun City for the basic entertainment value that any award show should provide but rather to play dress up, get messed up and perhaps even throw up on the service provider’s tab. This year proved to hold some welcome surprises. But come to think of it, it can’t be all that difficult to surpass past shows.
The biggest night on the SA music calendar began with a bang as Zamajobe joined Best Male/Best Maskandi nominee Bhekumuzi Luthuli and the winners of Best Dance and Best Producer Goldfish in paying their respects to the late Miriam Makeba. Even though it was upbeat, the tribute was moving but it couldn’t draw the attention away from Zamajobe’s brown mini dress/black tights ensemble. Zamajobe failed to convert her Best Female Solo and Best Contemporary Jazz nominations into true success, consequently we were spared the encore of seeing that fashion mistake. Actually, a bigger fashion mishap came on stage instead when the The Moreira Project snatched up Best Contemporary Jazz. Much to the shock of the audience and the host, the representative walked up wearing bemuda shorts with a jacket and formal shoes. Hilarious. Meanwhile, the stunning afro-pop star Lira, humbly took home four awards including Best Adult Contemporary Album: English, Best Remix of the Year, Best Female and most importantly Album of the Year.

But really, the true highlight of the night was the host, Trevor Noah. He saved us from yet another typically SAMA night. Noah was amusing and engaging without having to rely on a dozen different costumes or even his remarkable good looks. During all three-and-a-half of his restrained wardrobe changes, not once did he prance around in a wife-beater. Instead, he opted to don Msholozi’s traditional skirt and Zulu-Boy’s head-gear, over his first outfit, during his rip off of the Maskandi genre. (Who knew Trevor could play the guitar.) I hardly saw a piece of neck.

YFM’s newest recruit Bonang was not as conservative. She presented the Record of the Year in a rather adorable black and purple frilly tutu-type frock that was short in the front and longer in the back. Khanyi Mbau rocked a similar design but her blue and yellow hues made her creation pop, complete with a trail that kissed that floor. During their Best Duo/Group presentation, Mbau also managed to steal Kelly Khumalo’s thunder despite the latter’s Best Urban Pop Album nomination.

No surprises when Rebecca Malope bagged yet another Best African Gospel award. Even though it was her 12th SAMA ever, Malope still did her classic victory hop, evening gown and all, as though it was her first time. What did surprise everyone was how Vusi Twala went off at a tangent whilst presenting this very award. The Psalted host went on some Reverend tip and even went as far as quoting from the Bible. Wow.

You’d expected some ministerial vibe from the preacher’s son Hlomla Dandala. But when he was not seated next to his ex- ex wife Candy Litchfield, he was busy flirting up a storm with Miss Teen SA Kopano Mocwane during their presentation of Best Female.

The misbehaving continued into both Sizwe Dhlomo and Siya Ngwekazi’s segments: they expressed their approval of Trevor Noah’s MCing, at the expense of kwaito star Kabelo Mabalane’s past two SAMA presenting efforts. Naturally. Siya also took shots at Arthur during his post-award interview with Lira…

cop the rest @ http://www.rage.co.za/readArticles.php?articleID=1578&PHPSESSID=144337f3fe6c3cbc29df2c62d669cb3e

Day 85-90: What Were You Thinking...

It's funny how when you have to study, you'll do everything but exactly that. I just came from physio... Oh my gosh such pleasure... I nearly passed out coz the various massaging techniques were so good. I should have started physio five weeks ago [since it's been approxiamately three months since the shoulder anthroscopy] but I haven't had time to find a therapist, especially one that works on the weekend, but now that I gots to study, it occurred to me that I may wanna see one. And boy am I glad.

Physio amounts to somebody playing with your hair and inducing drowsiness. Now all I wanna do is sleep. But I also gotta go get my hair did. Plus this BMW [Baby-Making Weather] is making me hella apathetic.

So I'm drowsy n lazy, watching the Crime Channel. Things been like that the entire week. Haven't even been able to blog because the famous last words proved to be exactly that. Well sorta. Well for the most part.

Saw Shorty the other day and we spoke about Friday night. He pretty much expressed my concern as per my blog. Lol that would be assuming that he's been reading it. Coz the way he spoke about labels putting pressure on us was what I said. So I nodded fiercely wondering if we on the same page or if he jus read my blog and found the perfect excuse for some triflin behaviour.

Honestly I shouldn't be bothered by all this at the moment. Coz again, gots to study. But at the rate that I'm going, you'd swear I gots all the time in the world. So the official term for us is 'we're seeing eachother/dating exclusively'. Even if some nosy numbnut insists on asking if he is my boyfriend, I'll merely respond that 'we're seeing eachother'. BOOOORIIINGGG! Lol!

I think I'm just slightly annoyed coz I had begun wrapping my head around the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. But clearly the fact that I brought it up in a sober setting shows that I was not completely comfortable.

Speaking of discomfort, the day before May Day, my sexual frustration had hit an all time high! All that anybody was talking about and doing was sexually related. Needless to say that I and my celibate state felt a lil cheated. I called him and for the first time, I told him how I was not coping. I expected him to snigger in the face of my three-month rule but he only had empathy for me and expressed feeling equally frustrated. That made me feel ten times better. My poor baby...

Maybe it's time, he said meekly... How about no, negro?! We are doing so well and to just give in to our urges would undo months of work... I dunno what the logic is but sex just results in complications and goodness knows that we have enough complications for Africa. Plus once you become sexually active, it's easy to just have a relationship that's centred around the nookie. Right now, we are forced to get to know eachother and see eachother for what we really are. Sex blinds you. So we gonna have to wait. Coz I wanna do this differently. I can get sex anywhere but goodness knows that we've worked at this. No point in screwing it up now... Yes, pun intended.