I asked to be challenged, not to go out the same way as Michael Jackson (with a dam heart attack). I mean I'm currently in a space that saw me be unable to blog for over a month because things are that hectic and crazy and insane and BUSY! And all I really wanna do is put on some Marvin Gaye and get it on! I would be so lucky. Cutie is still trippin'. So I'm working on moving on coz really he's awesome and everything but I am way too fwine to be dealing with another pseudo-relationship. Apparently I'm supposed to give him time.. I'm like what time, time to hurt me some more... reject me some more... how much punishment can a girl take. If there's one thing that I have learnt during the last 180 days is that you shouldn't ever waste your time with a nigga that won't be there. If he's trippin, do yourself a favour and be out! I realise that it's not that simple but I also know that waiting on him to change is stoopid especially when he has told you wassup. Let it go and let him stay with his undecided self.
Naturally, I'm having some trouble practicing what I preach. I can't seem to stay away from him. (And it probably doesn't help that we work together.) To the point where I'm on some maybe I should just hang out with him, he'll come around. Or maybe, we can just be friends?! Or maybe, he just ain't that into me and my punkass just needs to make peace with that! Aaaargh! The frustration! And what if I do walk away and it ends up being the biggest mistake of my life?! Like that chick from The Bachelorette, Deanna! This nigga that she was really fallin' for exasperated her to such a degree that she ended up telling him to go jump even though she dug him so! He wrote her a letter declaring his feelings but it was too late. But was it?! Should she have been a lil more enduring? DAMN Niggas who push a woman to that point!
Like
Shorty. He tried to holla at me, the other day. I was like nigga please, you done fucked up, a minute ago. It's too late! It's so late that I'm even considering cutting ties with new dude! Now here's Cutie following the exact same script. Like him and Shorty bin sharing notes! It's simple really, I'm done! The next nigga I meet, best have his story sorted. I ain't about to deal with your issues and I don't wanna hear it. You wanna be with me? Cool. You don't? Get the fuck out!
I'ma be hardcore now coz I've realised that my being open has also made me a lil naive. Fairy-tales only exist in books. I ain't the exception.
As far as my radio career is concerned, I haven't been offered anything by the station from a DJ point of view. When I found out on Thursday, I felt my world crash around me. That sucked. I was really hoping that I would be given the opportunity to take on the training slots but alas, I've been asked to submit a demo instead. Didn't know how to react to that. That hurt. But I'll do as required.
Then there's TV... dunno hey...I'm in two worlds...and boy do I need a holiday!
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