Life has a funny way of pulling you up by the underwear and reminding you that for the most part, you have zero control. Life wedgies tends to happen when you start walking and talking as though 'you on top of everything'... It's a leader's plight... A boss's life... More accurately, a pain in the arse! I will concede, however, that it does make for an interesting living. It saves us from the monotony of knowing everything and being suprised by nothing.
God's grace lives within those moments of serendipity. It's when He is having a grand ol chuckle at presumed human intelligence. It's when I realise, for the umpteenth time, that what's meant to be will be, despite my actions.
But if I choose to be obsessive about something, I can be sure to forget to enjoy the experience and really only notice that I'm no good at doing the very thing that I'd rather not do. Just like The Secret says. Elementary, my dear Wandile!
Ok, let me get to you up to speed. On Friday, our first fortnight at work, expired. In retrospect, my attempt at being focussed and disassociated from work politics pretty much failed. Well, the way I sorta see it.... I had to know what's going on without being in the thick of things. In order to suss out some people. But really, we are all just sussing eachother out. But what's the point of that? Getting bogged down in the utterances and even indiscretions of a fellow contestant. That's not gonna help you win. If anything, that's hella unfocussed. I only gotta really worry about impressing the final decision-makers. Not my rivals. They have no say.
And isn't that like this life. Being concerned with Joe Soap next door really ain't gonna score points with God. And He ain't gonna wanna hear about him during his one-on-one with you. So I need to maximise my actions and stop being so obsessed with a false sense of security ie playing the game. This isn't a reality show. Although it may feel like it, complete with a competitive edge. Truth is reality shows are all fiction. TV IS A LIE. And you'd think I'd know that...
The rest of Feb will see me right in the hub of radio. Production. I didn't plan on being there so quick but everything happens for a reason right. So I'm hella excited to learn some technical stuff, such as recording etc. Who knows, I could do a voice-over. Now that I'm (slightly a lil more) open to the experience, I plan on taking it on in bite-size chunks. Fortnight by fortnight. And forget the six month up hill climb ahead. Step by step. Day by day. Or else, I could very well collapse from information overload, brain freeze or even constant anxiety. I can do this! Because I am here, I am worthy.
When I started writing this, I really had no clue as to where I was going with it. Now that it's out, I'm suprised and a lil relieved that I didn't touch on the activities that made these past coupla days so damn menacing. I'd rather not say. But I spent Vday alone and Friday's party, my first proper outing all year, was hella fun and eye-opening. My search for the self continues and I'm finding pieces of me in many of the new people coming my way... It's nice... And by the time I turn 23 in two weeks, I'll hopefully be walking into 2009 with a more steadY strut! A la Manhattan....
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